We are all asked to do things we don’t like to do, at work and in life. We’re also put in situations to deal with people we prefer not to be around. It is our nature to go to war. We are not trained to be luvvers. It is only in our essence, which must be developed, that we learn to luvv what we don’t like.
I was working with a client this week, let’s call her Samantha, and her distanced father called out of the blue with a very controlling message about what she must do for her health. It wasn’t enough that he called out of nowhere, it was that he had such a know-it-all, demanding message about what Samantha should be doing. He made her feel wrong and stupid from the start.
He had called her cell phone, work phone, texted her, and cell phone again, demanding that she call back. It had been over a 3-day period and Samantha hadn’t returned any of his messages. When I asked her why, she began to cry, speaking through her tears, “I can’t. I just can’t.”
Tears that gush like that are usually sitting right on top of some great awareness that desires to burst through. So in looking deeper, we discovered the issue wasn’t with her father alone–it was with not being able to luvv what she didn’t like in general. She had not developed the CAPACITY to luvv, or stay connected, to what she didn’t like. And she had a history of closing off to her father’s controlling, belittling style.
I so relate to what she was feeling. In fact, if I could depict my life in a phrase, the purpose of me being here is to LEARN to luvv what I don’t like. I’m not good at it, but some days I rise above it. I am extremely aware of the “tests” that Life sends my way to see if I’ve developed any character. I have family members who are tests, colleagues and clients as well. Life throws in twists and unsuspected change of events and it all comes down to learning to luvv what is given to me vs. fighting it to make it my way. I am fatigued when I fight so hard, so why do I fight so?
It takes a lot to change these strong inner patterns. I tend to think I’m in control, that it’s all up to me, and that there are no magical hands or guidance. I forget over and over the power of my luvv–when I will. I’m not talking about love, which is kumbaya or passive sharing and caring. LUVV is our power, certainty, direction, and purpose. When we luvv, we engage. When we luvv, we change what we touch. When we luvv, we lift whatever is around us. Luvving what we don’t like is staying open to it, connecting with it to find a solution or new way through. It takes guts, focus and discipline, but when luvv is activated, magic is sitting in the sidecar, waiting to show the way.
I have a dear companion, Leslie, who has learned to put luvv into her cooking. She recently made peanut butter cookies for my household, and both my son and husband do not like peanut butter cookies. But they both RAVED about these cookies–my husband, Jerome, even ate them for breakfast! They were attracted to the luvv they could taste in the cookies. (Read Jerome’s story about them on his personal development website, I Can Win Now) We all know the difference when food is made with luvv. Think about putting luvv in your emails, or project summaries, or your child’s lunches…. How do you do that? Read ahead.
In this case, Samantha pleaded with me, “I can’t call him. I don’t want to respond at all.” We discovered that she felt too exposed to him, unable to stop the belittling pattern quicker than she knew how to stop him.
I looked into my spiritual arsenal and realized she didn’t know how to keep him from taking her energy. She needed a shield to keep herself protected and strong. We activated the copper pyramid.
Picture a copper pyramid (a square bottom and 4 triangles leaning inward) made of copper, or Lincoln head pennies. Picture that shiny pyramid floating above your head. Pull the energy of that pyramid into your body, like liquid streams of copper flowing down your spine, into your legs and out your feet. Allow it to fill you backbone and body with the energy of strength and focus.
You can also picture yourself inside a large, shiny copper pyramid, large enough for you, or a group of you. Feel yourself inside the solid strength and protection of the pyramid.
That’s the payoff of learning to luvv what you don’t like–you can find your power, speak your truth, and back your play. Some call this confidence. I also call it magic.
Learning to luvv what you don’t like can be a focus for a lifetime. It is for me. But every time I do, I get stronger, like working out in the gym. My luvv muscles are learning to hold more power and my capacity is increasing. I still lose it big time, but similar to dropping a heavy barbell, I can pick it back up and lift more weight. I am learning to luvv what I don’t like.
My suggestion to me – keep up the great work!